But we figure some of you have come from the Word Camp website and are wondering what this is all about. Some of you are about to click that link to learn (again, we hope, since you are all faithful readers of and subscribers to this blog) that we will be hitting Kilkenny city to be the Friday night entertainment at WordCamp Ireland, a conference for bloggers, WordPress developers and designers. If you’re not already going, why not? Are you lame or something? Guess so.
The conference is on Saturday and Sunday, March 6th and 7th, in Langton’s, Kilkenny, but since a lot of people will be coming down on the Friday from 8pm, your Chaosettes will be there to dispel any awkwardness by making things significantly more awkward, or at least incredibly noisy.
If you’re still confused about what we’re like, join the club. No, seriously, send us some money, and we’ll let you be in our club. We can’t tell you what the club us, or how much money to send us because then it wouldn’t be a secret anymore. Just err on the side of lots, and don’t get your hopes up about any actual secrets.
But a few people have asked us why we frequently reference the Golden Girls when we describe what we are, since it seemingly has nothing to do with our event, only it totally does. We like to eat cake and swap anecdotes, which is how a lot of the best friendships in our lives have been formed (except one of my favourite friends whom I met at a wake). And then Mental Floss went and posted this Why Betty White Is Awesome piece, and that moved things a little further along Explanation Road.
Maybe it is Golden Girls + Some Kind of End Of Level Boss=Chaosettes.
Maybe there are those awful, shrieking, Sex And The City friendships (and Amiee and I are totally united in our hatred of the entire culture that shit spawned, and our Sex Chaos, by the way, is so utterly in a different, and, we hope, far less idiotic spirit) and then there are Golden Girls friends. You eat. You talk. You tell stories, deadpan, where you know full well you’re the butt of your own joke. You take out your skeletons and make them do the All The Single Ladies dance. Then you have some more cake and you feel completely unburdened by the shared revelation of your own humanity. Then I threaten you with a straw handbag and the studio audience goes mental. We don’t do irony. We were never cool, although that’s not for (continual) lack of trying. We haven’t a fucking clue about brands of shoes.
Then some incredible website that we’ve never seen before posted one of the funniest pieces of writing we have seen so far this century. Now, we can’t promise that Chaos Thaoghaire will get you laid. We can’t promise anything we’re going to deliver on, but it would be kind of cool if, like the Golden Girls apparently joke-did, we had the power to turn an entire generation of boys gay. Imagine the rush! It would be kind of like poppers!
But we did notice that a lot of the accusations that website joke-levels at the Golden Girls also apply to us, only kind of in earnest. For example, they say that The Golden Girls fan base was made up of “boys too delicate for sports, too awkward for girls, too ‘artistic’ for labor-intensive work and too flamboyant for peer acceptance in high school”. You could be talking about us! Only, you know, with boys AND girls. Anyway, we’re pretty sure that article is a work of deliberate comedy gold (so there is no need for anyone to freak), but if we could find a way to ensure we were part of the gay agenda, we so totally would. Some of us only like the opposite sexy, and some of us like the both kinds of sexy, and some of us only like the same kind of sexy, but the point is that we are about to bring you the sexiest Chaos yet.
And then we will leave town and go to Kilkenny to think unsexy thoughts until all this blows over.
