And in case you aren’t already, tune in to Phantom Daily this afternoon when Jane and Phantom’s own Emer McLysaght will be talking to Simon Maher about tomorrow’s very special Chaos.
If you’ve come to this site looking for info about that, then here’s what you might like to know. You can come with a team of three to six people, or in your onesies and twosies. You don’t need to book in advance, but we do recommend arriving on time.
DATE: Thursday, 27th May, 2010
TIME: 7:30 SHARP
TICKETS: 10 euro
THEME: “It was like that when I got here”: stories about disasters
VENUE: The Sugar Club, Leeson St, Dublin 2
With that out of the way, here’s what you probably came here to learn about Fiona McCann. Fiona, it seems, is practically begging to be challenged to an eating contest against The Chaosettes, two women who think nothing of eating a tub of frosting for a pre-breakfast snack.
1. First, do you know what you’re getting into?
A quiet evening of needlework and pleasant conversation, no? Perhaps a turn around the drawing room?
2. Since we don’t have time for hospital hellos like on Winning Streak, do you want to say hello to anyone who is in hospital?
The Singing Detective. Dr Ross, Dr Carter and Dr Kovac — love your work fellers.
3. Of all the ways the world could end, what’s the one you think you’d be best equipped, not only to survive, but to emerge the supreme leader of the haggard band of survivors?
Some sort of foodageddon, where only those of hearty appetite and an ability to eat five times their body weight will make it. Survivors, yes. But haggard? Not us!
4. Name three laws you would implement immediately, and describe the penalties for breaking them.
Law 1: Give cyclists priority over cars – that means giving us space on the roads and not cutting us off at every opportunity.
Penalty: Lawbreakers must give me a backer to work every day for a month. If that sound easy, let me remind you of my answer to question three.
Law 2: Ban fruit as a dessert option. I got nothing against fruit in its place. But fruit alone or in some poxy salad does not a dessert make. That’s all I’m sayin.
Penalty: Lawbreakers must rustle me up a nice banoffee pie or a good chocolate biscuit cake on a daily basis. The only way to learn is by doing, see?
Law 3: No talking, rustling, heavy breathing or phone call taking or making during films. If you MUST breathe, make it inaudible and far away from me.
Penalty: Forced to watch Battlefield Earth on a loop for a week.
5. What would be your eventual downfall?
Eventual? I was under the impression it had already happened. How much more down can a lady fall?
6. What’s the worst that could happen?
The internet breaking.
