As you know, the Chaosettes and Brian Lenihan are releasing budgets on the same day. Morto! We like to be so exclusive! And not to be upstaged by a couple of Brians! Not only has our edge been dulled by this tremendously amateurish misjudgment, but we thought we were cool because I have a cocktail named for me in a fancy restaurant, and we have enough arts degrees between us to keep the fire going until well after Christmas, but it seems the Brians are so underground, so down with the bankers and the actuaries, so downright bradass, that they have a whole number named after them. They’re so awesome that they even did the 2010 budget in Brillions. We want to know: how much is that in Jallions? And how much again in Amiellions?

(See for yourself . It’s some kind of new math*, isn’t it?)

Don’t forget, Chaos Thaoghaire’s Budget Day Special is only two days away!

Our lineup features political satirist Paddy Cullivan, also known as Clint Velour and leader of the Camembert Quartet and the Late Late Show house band. We’ll be joined, too, by a man without whom there would be no phone sex in Ireland, and also a member of the Late Late band, Jim Sheridan, photoshop wiz, wit, suspected genius.

We also have Naoise Nunn of political caberet Leviathan, the mind behind the Mindfield Festival, and co-author (with former government minister John McGuinness) of The House Always Wins. And that’s not all! We also have the gorgeous, hilarious, also suspiciously genius-like Odharnait Ansbro, and absolutely not least, Paul Hayes, of Beach Hut PR, former marketing exec in the games industry, who has hinted that he may have been tangentially involved (okay, by association) with the desecration of an American national monument.

Okay, not an American one. A Texan one. And everyone knows that Texans are like Cork people: they’re armed, they can’t talk properly and they’ll never let you forget they don’t want to be here.

All along with our budget, quizzes you can’t Google, and, of course, free cheese.

Bring all your brillions!

* Sorry, mathssssss.

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